BE A MATCH TO WHAT YOU WANT :: Holidays are not about driving for hours or days to see relatives in Canadian cities. This I can safely conclude having ever only done so. Holidays are about going to a destination completely outside of our usual daily lives (preferably in a warmer climate if it’s winter) than what we’re used to. I’ve never been on a proper holiday and until recently, could not even image myself going on one.

This is a story about a lesson I have learned: Be a match to what you want. Stick with me and see what happened when I did just that.

As a small business owner who has done some very cool things but has struggled financially for a decade, I am absolutely over the moon that the opportunity to take a proper holiday knocked upon my door this summer. This year has the best year in my business ever, and during my best July ever, my friend (and GGN publisher) Shaun Proulx told me about his 2015 party plane excursion to the Dominican Republic, including the excellent rate for the all-inclusive January get-away.

“You have to come,” he said over martinis on a sunny neighbourhood patio.

At the time, money was good and I felt confident that I could actually pull off the spend. I started to look into it.

By the time August rolled around, business tapered off some. I decided that a holiday was too extravagant. I would have to put a trip off until another more resource-rich time.

In September Shaun mentioned the holiday price actually dropped. But I  told him no, I just wasn’t comfortable spending that much money; I was freaked out about making a commitment like that to my credit card company.

Time passed. Shaun and I saw each other in October and he teased me about not coming. But by this time, business had picked up. A holiday looked feasible once more. I spoke to the potential roommate about going on the beach holiday. He told me that a week on an island in paradise with nothing to do but to have fun truly forces you to relax.

Relax? This was a foreign concept to me but I liked the sound of it.

Holy snow dump #Toronto! Who’s up for 7 nights in paradise? https://t.co/WDCokAcRkh

— Shaun Proulx (@ShaunProulx) December 11, 2014

As I listened to what this veteran holiday-taker had to say about spending time in the Caribbean. I looked online at pictures of the Dominican Republic and the resort we’d stay at.

I was overwhelmed; tears came to my eyes.

“Yes, I’m going,” I finally said.

Once I made that decision, it was as though the Universe heard, “Okay, she’s committed, let’s make this happen”.

Since then business has been reliably steady. There is enough money coming in that I can pay off the trip before I even get there, and there is no stress associated with my decision. It still doesn’t feel real, but it is a wonderful goal to reach for. Instead of living in financial fear, I am focused on this amazing January trip that is sure to take my breath away and give my brain a long-needed rest.

Now that I’ve said yes, I’ve watched things change in my favour. To say yes makes the wheels turn and sets good intentions in motion. To say yes has put me and my well-being in the spotlight. To say yes is to close your eyes and run toward a glimmering light that promises only good things.

I can’t wait. I am so lucky to be able to do this that I can’t believe it’s happening. Now that the passport is being processed, the only thing I have to worry about is finding the perfect swim suit.

– Leah Morrigan is a men’s image consultant who has written on the subject of moobs for GGN in the past.

– This post was originally published in 2014.

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Meet our financial contributor

Bringing years of experience in community relations, diversity, and personal banking, we’re thrilled to welcome Al Ramsay, Regional Manager, LGBTA Business Development, TD Bank Group as our financial contributor. Once a month, Al and his team of senior advisors will share practical and simple financial tips to help you achieve your goals – whether it’s buying a home, launching a business, growing your family or planning for retirement.

Over the past 10 years, Al has held increasingly senior positions supporting TD’s Diversity and Inclusion mandate from a customer, employee and community standpoint. Through his dedicated focus on serving the needs of the LGTBA community, Al has played an important role in reinforcing TD’s commitment to the community.

This month, Al chatted with Shaun of The Shaun Proulx Show about tips and tricks to budget and spend wisely this holiday season. Have a listen to their conversations.

For more helpful advice and tools, learn how TD can help you achieve your financial goals at www.tdcanadatrust.com.

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LOOK WHAT YOU DID :: Update October 6 – The campaign first described below when Toronto kicked off Pride Week 2015 achieved its donation goal, resulting in 21 Million Miles donated to Aeroplan’s Beyond Miles charity program. The Aeroplan Miles have been equally split three ways (7 million miles each) and donated to Egale, Rainbow Railroad and The Stephen Lewis Foundation – to put this into perspective, 21 million miles would translate to approximately 105 return flights to Africa or 650 hotel night stays in downtown Toronto. Congratulations to all who participated!

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#ForeverProud: Make a Difference this Pride with TD and Aeroplan

Happy Pride week! As part of an ongoing commitment to the LGBT community, TD Bank is excited to be in its 11^th year supporting Toronto’s Pride week. TD is Pride’s only Platinum sponsor, and this year its #ForeverProud campaign will also be supporting three local causes.

For every dollar that is spent using a TD Aeroplan Credit Card anywhere in Toronto during Pride week, TD and Aeroplan will donate one Aeroplan Mile to Aeroplan’s national charitable program, Beyond Miles. The Aeroplan Miles will be equally divided and donated between three local organizations: Egale, The Stephen Lewis Foundation and Rainbow Railroad. This means every time you use your TD Aeroplan Credit Card during Pride week in Toronto, you are directly supporting and making a difference to an important cause. This could range from helping to fund a flight for an LGBT refugee, to helping provide care to an orphaned child living with HIV and AIDS, simply by using your TD Aeroplan Credit Card.

In addition to the Beyond Miles initiative, TD will also be supporting 2015 Pride in the following ways:

• Pride Parade: Dozens of TD employees will be participating in the annual Pride Parade on Sunday, June 28^th
• TD “VIP Lounge” at Green Space Treehouse Party: A relaxing and tranquil oasis for Pride-goers to refresh, recharge and revitalize (exclusively for TD Aeroplan Visa Infinite Privilege cardholders)
• TD-Sponsored Bike Share Toronto: All bikes will have their spokes decorated in the Pride rainbow
• TD Flight Crew Photo Experience: Come out to play and pose with a photo with the TD flight crews aboard Rainbow Class
• Monster Mural: As part of the TD Fun Zone, children and their families are invited to help paint a giant mural in Toronto’s gay village

TD supports hundreds of LGBT organizations throughout the year including sponsoring over 50 Pride festivals across Canada and the US. Be sure to check out all of TD’s Pride week activities!

– Sponsored post.

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FINANCE :: As a 32-year-old investment advisor in Toronto during the 2001 technology boom, the dot.com suddenly burst and burst big.

I had been investing money conservatively for my clients – but started gambling with my own. I recognized money could be made from the huge volatility in the sector because the valuations being assigned to the companies were not rational. What the internet was, how it could generate revenue and what potential it had were beyond anyone’s comprehension.

I gambled. Trading options (a contract that gives a buyer the right, but not the obligation, to buy or sell an underlying asset at a specific price on or before a certain date), I took $20,000 and within three months had turned it into $2,000,000.

I lost it all over the course of 6 months by continuing to trade and averaging down on losses. The millions were made on Intel, lost on Nortel. I decided to trade on margin (ie: borrowing) as well which resulted in me going into debt.

That experience was probably more valuable to me than the $2,000,000.00 I created out of thin air. I re-learned five essential things in my life about money. I also came to understand regret, and how looking backwards impeded my emotional and financial progress forward. Money has never been a main focus in my life because it is institutionalized; it is created by central banks and not the universe, though of course there are countless professionals in my industry doing wonderful work helping people financial plan.  I do recognize I have the ability to attract money into my life when I focus on abundance and not what I don’t have; as you attract into your life what you focus on.

Here are five things to know about money:

1. Life does not begin or end with money. When you are born, this thing called money has no relevance to you and when you are in your dying moment it will not either. Between those two points it is good to check in and ask how much relevance you are giving it.

2. Money is not permanent. In my life it ebbs and flows. I am not a big saver as I would rather spend and enjoy it, therefore I have to be aware of not overdoing it.

3. Money in itself does not bring happiness nor does the lack of it bring unhappiness. Happiness is created within oneself, not by tangible things.

4. Debt has become an unnecessary evil in our lives. Institutions live to find ways to make it necessary for you to borrow more. Getting out of the hole of debt is a difficult task. Debt causes you to be dependent and beholden to the institutions or people who provide you with debt.

5. Never worry about money because it just causes more problems in your life. Focus on love, happiness and joy; then money flows to you. If you instead only hope more money will make you happy you will just keep hoping. If you feel like you’re rich and abundant and prosperous, you will be.

– Bonnie Hughes was raised in Toronto’s Church & Wellesley village and now lives in London, England raising capital for junior resource companies at a boutique corporate finance firm.

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MONEY IS ENERGY :: Like all things, money is energy, and therefore it will give you back what you put into it and will respond to the thoughts and feelings you have about it. It’s why some people can make millions, lose it, then make it again, while others struggle to keep up on a paycheque-to-paycheque basis. We are so emotional about money because the basis of our sense of freedom and choice is tied into the subject of money. Money is one of the energies through which we experience life with ease or with strife. >Tweet this!

A simple and effective way of improving your relationship with money is to spend more time with it, however your current circumstances are.

“The more you become aware of this energy’s ebbs and flows, the more you can make it work for you in realizing your life dreams,” says Jan Gupta, personal money trainer.

Make it a practice to check your bank account and credit cards online at the beginning of each day so you always know exactly where you stand with available funds. Create a monthly habit of setting aside time to scrupulously review your bank statements, credit card statements, points statements, utility bills, etc. Yes, for some this means opening those envelopes.

Regardless of whether or not you like your financial picture when you begin this, you will gain a sense of knowledge and control and in all likelihood your financial story won’t seem so bad as perhaps you thought it would feel.

As added bonus, human and technical errors happen so frequently that your regular reviews will put more money in your pocket. To get started, examine the monthly fees charged by your bank. Can they be lowered? Do you have the right plan for the types of transactions you make each month? Verify each time a service provider says they will charge you X or refund you X that they actually do. Cancel services you no longer need. Watch for hidden fees.

You can expect to make one call per month when utilizing this practice and to find hundreds of dollars a year flowing back to you because of the new level of respect you’ve shown this form of energy.

Says Gupta, “This is a great way to start connecting with your “Money-Self” and to discover if you’re taking out more than you’re putting into it.”

More on money from Jan Gupta, here. Jan is an educator, speaker and coach who works with her clients as a personal money trainer to help them develop a joyful and confident Money-Self through self-awareness exercises.  She can be reached at 1-877-235-0909 and info@janthemoneycoach.com 

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QUIZ :: Let’s determine your financial personality. Tonight, you’re on the VIP list for a private booth with bottle service at the most exclusive lounge in the city, where reservations must be made three months ahead… and your closet, full of last season’s attire, might as well be from the 50’s because nothing looks appealing to you.  What would you do?

a) Pick out the least repulsive item and improvise with accessories;
b) Say no thanks to the invite because you have nothing to wear, or
c) Rush out to buy that navy Canali blazer and a pair of Lanvin calfskin derbys

If your real answer was (a), give yourself a pat on the back for creatively managing your social life without going broke.  If you answered (b), then prepare to become the social outcast of the year.  If your answer was (c), then be assured that you are not alone.

Most people when faced with this challenge would rather spend to satisfy the pressures of their peer group than face being labeled a “cheapskate” or worse, a fashion victim.

Take comfort in the fact that there are a number of factors that can be blamed for our insatiable appetite to spend.  The usual suspects are: our parents, our friends, advertising, and pop culture.  Although I wonder if there is a “money gene” that will soon be discovered that will explain why some of us are slaves to our credit cards while others seem to have figured out how to make money work for them.  If only that were true, it would offer the easiest reason to continue spending:  “It’s in my genes”.

Ask yourself:

• What are your earliest memories of money growing up in your family? 
• Was there never enough money to buy toys and candy, or did your parents always buy you whatever you wanted? 
• Did your parents fight about money?  Did you have to get a part-time job to pay for your wish list? 
• Did gifts replace time spent truly connecting with each other?

There is empirical research suggesting that our attitudes towards money are strongly influenced by the role it played in our family from as early as age four.  In a research study conducted by Stanford scientists, a group of four-year olds were put in a room.  They each had a marshmallow put in front of them and were told that the scientist would be back in five minutes, and that if the child did not eat the marshmallow in front of her, she would get another one when the scientist came back.  The study group was tracked for the next 25 years.  Those kids who did not eat the marshmallow so that they could get a reward led more successful lives as adults because they understood “delayed gratification” and applied it to various areas of their lives.

So if it is not nature (our genes), then it must be nurture (our environment), is the theory.  In families and groups where money is closely tied to self-worth and identity, it can become a replacement for building meaningful relationships with others.  And then a vicious cycle of “instant gratification” can set in where we want money to constantly buy us the feeling that we matter as individuals in society.  Depressing stuff, but what is the alternative?

The first step is awareness of your own “money personality” type.  There are several online quizzes to help you identify your unique traits related to money.  One of the best ones that I’ve found is here. What is your money personality? Taking the 5-minute quiz will help you identify your relationship with money.

In future posts, I will address the basics of money management such as savings, credit, and investment.  Perhaps do a bit of “rewiring” for our brains.  In the mean time, watch those marshmallows in your life.

–  Jan Gupta is a personal debt coach who whips willing participants into learning good money habits and dropping their debt-ful ones.

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THE MODERN PROTEST :: Whether you agree with the recent backlash against Stoli vodka in light of Russia’s horrific treatment of their LGBT people, consumer activism has become a huge go-to when the every man wants to do more than take to the streets in protest.

Money we spend often goes to support the things we oppose, often which is why we’ve been loving a most excellent app for months now. It’s called Buycott, and it helps you organize your consumer spending so that it reflects your principles.

Use it to scan products you buy. Personalize your use by joining user-created campaigns (ie: GMO related movements) or create your own. Buycott will look up the product, determine what brand it belongs to, and figure out what company owns that brand (and who owns that company, ad infinitum). It will then cross-check the product owners against the companies and brands included in the causes that matter to you, in order to tell you if the scanned product conflicts or jives with one of your campaign commitments. You can also add new products into the app’s library that are not already there.

Beware: it may shock you to find out that brands you have been loyal to for years support the very things you strongly oppose. Shopping will never be the same,  which is why Buycott is the best app we’ve ever downloaded.

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