INTERVIEW :: Lisa Erspamer

Shaun Proulx: You’re making a fool out of me with this book. Can I tell you why?

Lisa Erspamer: Yes, I want to hear.

SP: I’m reading it a little every single night because it’s worth savouring… the number of times my husband turns and looks at me and goes, “Oh…brother” – because I’m crying.

LE: I know, I know. The letters are amazing, aren’t they?

SP: They’re so amazing. You’ve got people that I’m unfamiliar with opening up, but then you also have celebrities and they’re also opening up about their love for their dogs; this book is just like, crazy!

LE: I know, we had so much fun putting it together, and, you know, we had the same reaction. We were either crying or laughing, at every letter, but some of them are so funny.

SP: You obviously have some connections – did you just put out a call to everyone you know?

LE: We put up a blog, and had just had normal, everyday people contribute – and that got unexpected reaction. Within weeks we had thousands of letters. And then we went to our celebrity friends. I think though, because you love your dogs so much, and I love my dogs so much, that we all have that same connection and special bond, and so everyone was really excited to share their love. It was just a little bit of a miracle.

SP: What is it about dogs – and cat lovers don’t worry, we’re going to get to cats – but what is it that is so inspiring about the dog that you would even create this whole intense project.

LE: For me, my dogs are my children. I don’t have kids. They’re like little furry humans, and they’re always there for me, and my sort of busy life. In come my two dogs, and it’s always the best moment of my day. They don’t care what you do. They don’t care how you look, and always think that you have their best interest in mind. I always say that it is really the only form of unconditional love that exists.

SP: I was trying to answer my own question when I was writing it: What is it about the dog? Because as I was reading your book I began writing notes that were popping into my head, about Ella, because I’m going to write a letter to her now.

LE: Oh good!

SP: So I was thinking, what is this about the dog? Because I wouldn’t write a letter to my husband so quickly; I wouldn’t write a letter to my mother so quickly. What is it about the dog? And I realized that for me, they’re pure positive energy.  To me, they are kind of like a lesson. Like, Hey guys, this is the direction you need to be moving in as human beings – more like this please.

LE: My first dog as an adult was Louie – and he’s on the cover of the book, he’s the little stamp – and Louie died about two weeks before this book came out. That was devastating, to say the least. But Louie really taught me about love, in a way that I have never really learned about love before. I loved him so much – but he loved me so much that it was a really unique bond I never had before. He really prepared me to be more loving, and taught me to be a more loving person.

SP: In what way?

LE: Because they are so forgiving of all of our complications as humans. They don’t care about what you do for a living, or how much money you have, or what your hair looks like, they just love you, for you, and I think that  is a great lesson. Louie never judged me, but I think as people, you judge yourself. We judge other people. He just loves me for me. All he needed was just love him back. He didn’t need me to buy him the latest, greatest of everything – he just needed me to love him back.

When he died, people kept saying to me, “That’s why I don’t want to get a dog, because I don’t think I can handle them dying,” and I said, “Well, the great thing is, is the nine years that he was here.” I would never have given up those nine years of that really deep connection, and that incredible love, just because I would eventually lose him. I’m just so grateful that I had him.

SP: That’s what’s flawed in a sentiment like that, focusing on the loss when the gain is far greater. I’ve been blessed to have dogs my whole life, but before the dogs that I have now, was Sammy. She died when she was sixteen, in my arms in bed at 3am right before Christmas. I held her, right until I couldn’t feel her heart beating under my fingers anymore, and the loss is… words cannot convey how unhappy I was by her passing. But I’m telling you: Sammy’s still in the air. This is an energy conversation too, that we’re having, because dogs bring so much spirituality into your life. And the best example I can share with you  right from your book are rescue dogs. Ella is a rescue dog, and when we got her, we were her third home in six months. I don’t know what happened to her, but you couldn’t touch her, it took months. She bit our faces, we couldn’t get near her. My husband, by day two, was saying we have to take her back, and I said, no we’re not, we’re sticking with her. Now it’s been five years, and she’s just my joy, and the point of all of this, the energy part that I want to bring up, is for her to trust me, gives me faith in myself. Do you know what I mean?

LE: Oh yeah, I do!

SP: (Choking up.) I never doubt I am a good person, but that I could bring this damaged dog home and get her to trust me, she who had been so abused – she sleeps in my arms now every night, she licks my face – it is this this assurance of spirit that I’m a good guy. That’s what dogs do.

RELATED :: Shaun’s letter to Ella.

LE: We were at a kill shelter, and I didn’t really know a lot about kill shelters at the time – and I call it a kill shelter, but it’s like the pound, where they have to euthanize dogs because they have so many – and I found this little tiny white dog that was really emaciated, and she was still a puppy. She was found in the streets. And I couldn’t leave without her, so of course, I took her home. And everyone was, like, “Are you sure you want to take her home? She’s sick, and she looks like she’s going to die.” She was like a little bird. But I took her home, and I am madly in love with her, and I really think that the dogs that you rescue, I feel that they know that they were given a second chance.

SP: Yes.

LE: This dog is deep. I mean she just stared right into my eyes, and I’m attached, I’m just so in love with her.

SP: You did with all those Oprah Winfrey shows, and that was so much of the mantra of the work that you all did on that show: self-value. More than a human does, more than your parents do, more than your partner does, the dogs in your life make you know your value, and to me – I’m such a dog freak now – to me, there’s a reason why you spell dog backwards it’s God.

LE: The value they bring to anybody’s lives is so significant. There’s research studies that have been done about the impact that dogs make and how they literally make more loving, more caring people. One of the shows we did on Oprah years ago, was on puppies behind bars, and we did it with Glenn Close, who was very involved in this program where inmates would actually train dogs to go and live with soldiers with PTSD, or people who needed service dogs, and the impact it made on the inmates was so massive, and one guy was crying. We were interviewing him, and he said that he had never experienced love before, and this dog showed him what love was, and he was crying and crying and crying, and I thought, “My God, if he had had a dog, maybe if he had that kind of love as a child, that the situation in his life would have been different.”

SP: How is creating A Letter To My Cat different?

LE: You know, I don’t have a cat, but I have in the past, and I’ve been working on our cat book, which is really interesting because it’s the same feeling. Different animals, but people who love their cats, love their cats like we love our dogs.

SP: People say there’s cat people and there’s dog people. I have a cat and I love her – but I’m so much more a dog person. As you create the cat version of A Letter to my Dog, are  you noticing anything about that idea?

LE: Yes! Cat people are a more edgy crowd, and more intellectual. The cat people are a really interesting collection, it is sort of like a different type of person – like there are a lot of writers that have cats, and a lot of men, like a big NBA player just signed on for a cat book, and a big Italian guy.

SP: What did you learn about dogs and cats that you didn’t already know? There must have been some surprises.

LE: I was surprised at all the different nuances of cats, because I haven’t had a cat for a long time. They love paper bags, and they hide in people’s closets. The pictures are really funny. We would go to shoot – and cats are a lot harder to photograph, by the way, than dogs, because they’re just more aloof. Dogs are sort of like television personalities, you know. They’re like hams, they love attention, cats are like, “Leave me alone.” Trying to find the cat in people’s houses is always an adventure. Like, “We’re here to photograph your cat, where’s your cat?” And cat’s are like, “I don’t feel like coming out right now, I’ll come out when I’m ready.” Dogs are right there: “Where do you want me to be? I’ll do anything you want.” They are very willing, at all times. Cats are independent, and their people are very funny about them too; they don’t want to disrupt their cat’s flow. So when you say to somebody, “Can you go get your cat?” they’re like, “Well, I’d have to see if they’ll come out.”

I think that with dogs, I just kept seeing their eyes, and feeling like there’s just so much in there, They just so desperately want us to know how much they love us.

SP: And that we’re valued.

LE: They just look at you as if you are perfect, in every way. Whereas, somebody once said, people own dogs, cats own people. Cats are in their own flow. They’re not people pleasers, like dogs are.

SP: What would you come back as?

LE: Oh probably a dog, I want you to love me. I want you to hug me. I want you to feed me. I wouldn’t be a very good cat, because I’m not going to go hide in the closet. I want somebody to hold me, like all the time.

SP: I want to bring (photographer) Robin Layton’s name up, because A Letter to My Dog is beautiful for the sentiment for the people writing the letter, but I’m not sure if I’ve seen a book with such beautiful dog photography in my life.

LE: I know.

SP: Of all my of my dog books, I’ve never seen such perspectives and angles and humour and sweet moments.

LE: And she’s a total dog fanatic, I mean she and I are crazy dog people. She is a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant photographer, and she is an amazing human being! And Kimmy Culp, the co-author of this book, really got a lot of our people to participate.

SP: I wish you a wonderful holiday with your dog. Lisa, thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it.

LE: We are so grateful, we are grateful, grateful, and if you ever need anything from us, we’re here.

SP: Amazing.