AND THE WALLS COME TUMBLING DOWN :: It’s easy to have sex these days, but it feels almost impossible to ever have a relationship live past the two-month mark. I spent years serial dating men who were either crazy, wanted only sex, or turned out to be just a huge dick.
I dated the guy who somehow seemed to get into the pants of every single man in town. I dated the CEO who expected me to act as his new trophy boy. I even dated the guy who, I found out later, had a wife and children at home.
Naturally you become a little cynical. You start referring to dates with men as “free dinner.” You begin to become extremely independent and career driven. Not just because Destiny’s Child told us to be, but as a defense mechanism for our feelings.
So when my boyfriend and I survived the two-month dating period I was a little thrown. I mean, our relationship is more than I could ever ask for. He is sweet, loved by my friends, extremely sexy, and he seems to be able to read my mind. However, I started to pull away slightly after the two-month mark. I found myself getting annoyed by little things he did and would start to find any excuse to start a fight.
One night I had planed to come over to his apartment after the gym. It was a hard day at work and I was really counting on his company to turn my mood around.
Then I got a text from him: “Things are running late, so I won’t be home till 11 tonight. Is that alright boo?” All of a sudden my heart sank and I felt a fire run up my body causing my temples to throb.
Why was I so upset with him over a small change of plans? How could I let a man change my mood so drastically? I went home angry, refusing to answer his texts. I was pissed at my boyfriend for leaving me alone, but was more frustrated at myself for becoming so dependent on him.
Later that night he drove to my house to apologize for the change of plans. We talked for forty minutes but the conversation was going in circles. I was closed-off emotionally. What was I scared of?
Was he going to leave like the rest? Maybe it would be easier to end the relationship before anyone got hurt. He finally lost his patience and grabbed my arm, “What is wrong? Why aren’t you talking to me?”
I pulled my arm back and said, “There is nothing to talk about.”
As I turned to leave he called out to me: “You have to let me in. I would never want to hurt you.”
I started to cry. I didn’t know if they were tears of happiness or fear, but I knew I didn’t want to say goodbye.
I ran to him and he held me tight against his chest. He kissed me on the forehead and whispered what I think we all want to know from the other person in our lives: “I am not going anywhere.”
– Cole Douglas is currently studying his degree in PR, and is TheGGN‘s relationship blogger. Get more of Cole’s stories about love and sex on his blog, The Game.
Have you ever had a hard time letting a new person into your heart? Share more below!
If you liked this post, please share it using the options below, and consider
joining our mailing list to get more.
