The-Gay-Guide-Network-Undervaluing-Myself

SELF WORTH :: Over the 2014 holidays a miracle of sorts happened to me that is still resonating. I was asked a question that made me see how I undervalued myself.

Get ready because I will shortly ask it of you.

But let me backtrack a bit. I was at work when a sales rep came in. It wasn’t his normal day to visit us. Motown songs were playing and he was singing along. I could tell he was one happy dude, and in fact, a co-worker told me the rep was a deeply spiritual man.

On this particular day I wasn’t feeling happy. I was feeling down on myself, having an internal argument to stop being so hard on myself and instead to realize all I have to offer.

“You are a very wise and happy person, I can tell,” the rep said – out of nowhere – as we chatted.

It was like the universe brought this man to me, to say what I needed to hear on that day of all days.

I learned that when he was born he literally died for five minutes. The doctors had to fight hard to revive him. His mother was so relieved and overjoyed that he survived she said, “This is my son and his purpose is to bring happiness to others.”

He told me he has found his mother’s declaration to have come true. He said, “I am very happy, I have the love of my mom and my family. I am alive!”

This man’s happiness was so strong and forthcoming with internal happiness I could feel it transfer to me.

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Then he said, like he was reading me: “Don’t ever undervalue yourself.”

“How does he know I do this?” I thought. I am the queen of undervaluing myself, though I’ve never put it that way before.

Then he asked me a question I want you to answer for yourself as you continue reading this.

“If I handed you a $100 bill would you take it?”

“Yes!” I said.

(I bet you did too.)

Then he asked me a second question I want you to answer too; don’t edit.

“If I handed you a $100 bill I smeared with disgusting filth would you take it?

Would I take filthy money? I thought. I edited, thought some more. And thought. And justified. And even argued (our new polymer bills would be easy to clean!).

(What would you do? Would you take it?)

I watered down my answer. I couldn’t say yes, but I couldn’t say no.  “Maybe…?”

“Why would you undervalue yourself?” the man said.

Then I got his point.

It wasn’t about the $100.  It was about the respect that was or wasn’t attached to it.

It was about thinking I was not important enough to deserve the best version of something I would like.

And in that I realized I am valuable enough to deserve that.

This experience and what that man taught me has stayed in my head and will never leave; I have asked this $100 question of others.

I thank this man because he reminded me of the importance of me. I now approach so many moments and experiences in my life with one question that keeps everything in check: “Am I undervaluing myself?”

Share this post on your social media so your friends can answer the same question.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. OMG! I love Miss Raquel so much. This rings so true for me. Thanks Miss for writing this, i will now try to not undervalue myself…..I don’t want no filthy $100 cuz I’m worth more!

  2. You know what? I think it depends on where you are in your life? I’ve been desperate and I at that time or those times I would take the filthy $100 bill, yes call me a yes man, but at times I think you have to be depending on where you’re at in your life. Just my two cents.

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